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Emergencies happen to all of us, but if you know how to react, you can limit the damage..,
How would you cope if you discovered a theft of necessary equipment, your partner was having an affair, or if you got the sack from work? Would you fall apart - or immediately try to work out the best way to cope? Crises such as these are a part of everyday life, so having good crisis - coping skills at your fingertips has become essential. Even if you have no contingency plans, there are four rules to help you.
RULE ONE: Don’t make it worse.
The initial reaction is: ‘This should not be happening to me’, because crises rudely awakens us to the true reality of the world, which is that it is not safe, or fair. So indignation is our starting response, and in our anger or panic, we violate the number one rule of crisis management, which is do not, by your first reaction, make your crisis worse.
Yet this is precisely what most people do. They turn to unhelpful coping strategies, such as drinking heavily, over-eating, hitting out, or some other impulsive action which will often cause more problems than the crisis itself. But the shock of realising the enormity of what has just happened tends to make it difficult to think clearly. If you act while your brain is still reeling, it is likely you will not help yourself.
RULE TWO: Gather information.
The second rule of crisis management is to try to grasp clearly what has actually happened to you. This is called ‘information gathering’ and may require you to ask questions of others in order to get an accurate picture of what has gone wrong. Do not rely on your fevered imagination. The advantage of information gathering at an early stage is that a solution often emerges quickly, or at least what would be the most helpful next step for you to take.
RULE THREE: Take practical steps.
After you have gained a clearer picture of the extent of your crisis, the third rule of coping beckons - to do what you can practically to help make the situation better. Positive activity, no matter how small or trivial the improvement to your situation, will not only calm you down, but will keep you focused on minimising the damage. So taking revenge on an unfaithful partner might make you feel better in the short term, but it could take you further from your real goal, if that is to try to keep the relationship going. Part of this third rule involves asking for help, particularly from those who have experienced as similar crisis, and from people close to you.
Bouncing your views about the crisis off others is an important coping skill because getting your ideas out in the open helps to check how realistic your assessment of the situation is. Brooding can build up the problem out of all proportion.
RULE FOUR: Don’t worry fruitlessly.
Once you have done all you can to help yourself, distract yourself by doing something pleasant, rather than dwelling on the problem. This always seems odd advice, that shortly after discovering yourself in a terrible pickle, you spend the evening at the cinema, or lose yourself in a good book. But if there really is nothing else practical you can do, there is little point allowing your mood to worsen by being preoccupied.
Having said that, make sure you have done everything you can before allowing yourself to relax. The mistake some people make is to try a distraction technique first - burying their heads in the sand and hoping that the problem will go away - before they have exhausted all the possibilities for improving the situation. Particularly harmful are drink or drugs that render you less able to think clearly.
So distraction should always come after you have tried to improve the situation as much as you can. Then come back to the problem after a break when you feel rejuvenated and better able to be more creative and persistent.
Using these rules will ensure the best response to even the most fraught predicaments. This will increase your confidence over time, and you will find that you can deal successfully with whatever life throws at you.
See also Contingency Plans, Computers
Reminder - disclaimer applies. Please feedback your comments. This page was last modified 18 May 2002.